An important meeting, a friendly encounter, an everyday conversation. It happens time and again that someone is annoyed, sits there withdrawn and simply doesn't seem to be thinking about the matter at hand. What do you do then? How do you deal with it? This is what coaching for emotional intelligence. It teaches the ability to recognize and understand emotions and then use concrete methods or actions to influence one's own emotional state or that of another person.
This blog post describes the process of acquiring emotional intelligence and the value it brings to any type of communication. It presents a clear process and methods to help you learn emotional intelligence. Because unlike the intelligence quotient, we can improve ourselves here.
What is emotional intelligence?
Let's start with intelligence. This is our ability to think logically and derive results from this. If we see the train approaching the level crossing at high speed, we prefer to get out of the way as quickly as possible.
The term emotions, on the other hand, is often not so clearly defined. Some people think of extreme expressions of feelings and are not so wrong. Emotions consist of
Feelings
- Anger, love, fear, sadness ... Physical reactions
- Sweating, rapid breathing, butterflies in the stomach ... And our thought
- „My work is stressing me out“, „I'm scared of this presentation“, „What if she says no?“
In summary, this means: emotional intelligence is the recognition of emotions, recognizing the train and thus the threat, and drawing meaningful conclusions about how to get the train off the track. An example: You are giving the dreaded presentation. Now that you know about emotional intelligence after reading this article, you recognize your stress and know how to calm yourself down and give your presentation successfully. It doesn't even have to be a presentation. Any form of communication can cause stress. With emotional intelligence coaching, you will be prepared for all situations in everyday life.
Added value for your communication
You now know that you can recognize your feelings, physical reactions and thought patterns through the self-awareness and mindfulness you learn in coaching. Coaching will also provide you with methods to understand and influence these emotions. In a conversation, this would mean that you can remain calm despite stress and other negative influences and thus successfully convey your message.
Let's go one step further. What if we could put ourselves in the shoes of the person we are talking to and therefore understand their stress, feelings and reactions? You know the word for this: empathy. We admire people who can help others just by saying the right words. That is exactly what emotional intelligence is.
„You only really understand a person when you look at things from their point of view ... until you slip into their skin and walk around in it.“
From the book „To Kill a Mockingbird“, which is often read in English lessons. We can only understand a person if we look at a situation from their perspective. The great added value of emotional intelligence coaching is that by experiencing your own emotions, you will also understand other people better, i.e. increase your empathy, making it easier for you to communicate.
Recognize, understand, act
You should remember these three words. They are the formula for emotional intelligence. First, recognize your emotional state. You have three options for this. Your feelings, your physical state or your thoughts. Everyone has a different sensitivity to the various signs, but there is always something to recognize.
How do I feel? -Angry, sad, happy, something in between ...
How does that affect the outside world? -This is a little more difficult. Take an objective stance. Are you trembling? Do you walk up and down?
What do I think? -This step can be even more difficult. It requires precise self-awareness. Pay particular attention to recurring thoughts, i.e. thought patterns.
After this analysis, the most important step has been taken. You have gained an objective view of your emotion. To understand it, you need acceptance. When we accept the emotion, we can question it and look at it separately from ourselves, just as a chemist looks at an experiment. In coaching, you learn to understand these new insights and then take customized measures to bring about change.
This is the last step: take action. If you are stressed, learn to take a deep breath. When you are sad, learn to take a different perspective. If you look at your life as a whole at such moments, you will realize that sadness is part of it.
You now have the formula for emotional intelligence. To understand other people, you can apply the same steps, only with the other person. Of course, you don't have the same information at your disposal, but over time you will become more aware of the physical reactions and thoughts of others. Once you have experienced a situation first-hand and reflected on it using the formula, you will be able to understand the other person.
What are the advantages?
-Relationships can be strengthened
-Managers understand their employees and can adapt the working environment
-You find joint solutions or can communicate your own messages better.
-It is important for coaching to understand and support clients.
-Emotions can be recognized in any context and action steps can be adapted accordingly.
Conclusion
Emotional intelligence starts with ourselves. Recognize, understand, act - this is the formula for understanding your own emotional state, which also helps you to take the other person's perspective and strengthen your empathy. Coaching for emotional intelligence enables you to understand feelings, physical states and thoughts. You will also receive concrete methods for successful communication.
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