Attitude in coaching: The inner attitude is the invisible compass of every coaching. It influences how we approach people, how we listen, how we ask questions – and how we accompany change. systemic coaching It's not just about methods, but above all about the inner attitude: open, approachable, appreciative, and curious. For clients, the inner attitude determines how well they can respond to coaching and how confidently they can handle everyday problems.
What does “attitude” actually mean in coaching?
Attitude describes a coach's fundamental inner orientation: their view of humanity, their values, and the way they approach their counterparts. It is not expressed in words, but in the way they listen, in pauses, in giving space. A professional attitude is clear, empathetic, and non-judgmental.
Coaches with a reflective mindset avoid directing or judging. Instead, they create a space in which the client finds their own answers.
The effect of posture on the coaching process
Trust isn't built through words, but through attitude. Coaches who are authentic, present, and appreciative enable true depth. This attitude works on a subconscious level: clients feel safe and accepted. This, in turn, is the prerequisite for change.
A methodically correct coaching without attitude remains superficial. Only when the attitude is right, the Methods in all its effectiveness.
Attitude in coaching: what significance does this topic have in the coaching context?
Attitude as the basis for professional coaching relationships
Techniques can be learned. Attitude can be developed. It is the foundation for any successful coaching relationship. Without a reflective attitude, even the best method can fail.
Coaches who are willing to question themselves, clarify values and live a present, open attitude create the basis for effective processes.
Values, worldview and human image in coaching
One's own attitude is significantly shaped by one's personal view of the world and humanity. Do I believe that people can develop? Am I convinced that clients will find their own solutions?
These core beliefs influence every question, every intervention, every response. Coaches who are clear about their stance act consciously and authentically.
Support through attitude: Why is our inner attitude so important?
Attitude as an anchor in complex situations
Coaching is often unpredictable. In emotional processes or moments of uncertainty, it's not the method that carries the weight, but the attitude. This is the anchor when there is no clear script.
The authentic and clear attitude helps coaches to remain calm, present and able to act – even in difficult moments.
In addition, the physical and inner posture also gives our clients security. Many come to us with insecurities or problems that they have not yet been able to solve. Development is then to question their attitude.
These can be thought patterns. However, it often also begins with everyday posture. It has been proven that our posture can have a significant impact on our self-confidence, which Problem-solving process of coaching is particularly important.
(Körner, Köhler & Schütz (2020) – Power Posing in Primary School Children; Erik Peper et al. (2018) – Upright vs. slumped sitting posture in mental arithmetic tasks
self reflection and demarcation
Attitude also means knowing yourself, recognizing your own limits, and treating yourself with care. Those who lead themselves well can also guide others effectively. Self-reflection is therefore a central component of a professional coaching attitude. You can quickly recognize who is authentic and who is still unconsciously hiding their true self.
Working with the systemic coach: how do we change our inner attitude?
Systemic principles and their impact on attitude
Systemic coaching is based on principles such as impartiality, resource orientation, and circularity. These fundamentally influence a coach's attitude:
- Impartiality: Every perspective is treated with respect.
- Resource orientation: Focus on strengths rather than deficits.
- Circularity: Questions that explore relationships and interactions.
These principles create a mindset that empowers people rather than analyzing them. At the same time, we examine influences from childhood and social environments. What do we discover? People's primary thought patterns are usually formed by their perspective on things, coupled with their role in their private and professional lives.
Attitude as a process – not as a state
Attitude isn't something fixed. It develops through experience, feedback, and reflection. Good coaches remain learning, open-minded, and self-critical. They are willing to continually readjust their attitude. Coachees develop their attitudes dramatically.
To visualize this, we like to include the following example in our discussions:
Imagine a lemon. Under pressure, it produces lemon juice, which in this example represents inner insecurities. If you now expect the lemon to produce orange juice (here, representing inner security), you have to change it from within.
By working on attitudes, imprints, and patterns, people become increasingly more confident from within and develop into authentic and self-assured individuals. The insecure lemon becomes a confident orange. Our clients sometimes experience tremendous changes through this exercise.
Developing attitude: exercises and reflection questions for practice
In-depth and suitable for everyday use:
- What do I believe about change – and how does that shape my attitude towards coachees?
→ Do I believe that everyone can change? Under what conditions? - How do I counter uncertainty – in myself and in the other person?
→ Do I seek refuge in control? Do I become impatient or open? - When am I really present – and how do I know that?
→ What disrupts my presence? What rituals help me stay present? - What happens internally when a coachee doesn’t “participate” or blocks?
→ Will my attitude then become defensive, judgmental, overwhelming or empathically stable? - What judgments and expectations do I (unconsciously) bring into my work?
→ What inner images do I have of “good” coachees?
Prejudices can also play a role in attitude. As a coach, it's incredibly important to break down these stereotypes and meet the person where they are at the moment. Judgments and prevailing patterns blind us to the person we're dealing with. Profound change also requires a profound understanding.
1. Embodiment ritual before coaching (or meeting)
Goal: Physically anchor the desired posture
Implementation:
Before each Meeting Consciously take 2 minutes:
- Upright posture
- Tiefes Atmen
- Visualize the attitude you need today (e.g. patience, courage, lightness)
→ Say to yourself: “I am present today with [attitude].”
2. Mini-Supervision: The inner stage
Goal: Change of perspective and role awareness
Implementation:
After tricky sessions:
- Which inner parts were active in me (savior, teacher, know-it-all, avoider)?
- Which of them took action – and was it helpful?
👉 This will help you identify your standard processes. Then objectively evaluate whether they serve you.
3. Posture sparring with colleagues or in coaching
Goal: Recognize external perspectives and blind spots
Implementation:
10 minutes with colleagues or coaching network:
- Describe a specific meeting
- Just ask one question: How did you perceive my attitude in this? / Where did I judge too early?
- Just listen. No justification. Just take notes.
4. Trigger analysis: Where is my posture wobbling?
Goal: Strengthen self-leadership in difficult moments
Implementation:
- After each session, note: Were there any triggers?
- What exactly challenged me emotionally or cognitively?
- What old experiences or beliefs were at work here?
- How do I want to deal with this in the future?
5. Write “I am” statements / mantras
Goal: Raise awareness of attitudes linguistically and emotionally
Implementation:
Formulate your basic attitude in 3–5 “I am” sentences:
- “I am here to listen and understand, not to judge.”
- “Every person has their own story and their own reasons.”
- “I open my mind to new insights and possibilities.”
Conclusion: Attitude in coaching as the key to real change
Attitude is the invisible force in coaching. It determines whether methods work, whether trust is established, and whether real change is possible.
Appreciation, acceptance, process competence, problem solving, meaning orientation, questioning techniques, solution approaches: all equally important for the Success. between coach and client. A systemic coach develops this competence through their training or through many years of leadership experience.
This allows us to offer sound and supportive insights that help clients gain a new perspective and develop sustainably. During the briefing, the client decides where they want to go. This is taken seriously and forms the foundation for personal growth.
What's important is that the attitude of the counselor, but also of the client, counts. If you secretly believe that coaching doesn't work, then you are wrong with usIf you're ready for change, we're here to help.
Remember the following ladder. This will show you how important your attitude is for your entire life. So start with attitude. Whether you want to be happier or have a specific change in mind, attitude determines our feelings, and this extends to our everyday life and lifestyle.
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A coaching attitude means approaching the coachee with openness, trust, and genuine curiosity – without judging, pushing, or knowing. It's about nurturing potential, not dictating solutions.
A coach cannot replace therapy, make diagnoses, impose solutions, or lead to dependency. Coaching is not advice, training, or treatment.
❌ The coach talks more than the coachee.
❌ There is ready-made advice instead of room for your own insights.
❌ The coach evaluates, judges or has an “I know better” attitude.
❌ Boundaries are ignored or roles are mixed (e.g. acting as a therapist).
Empathy, genuine interest, clear communication, self-reflection, patience, integrity, and the ability to ask questions rather than answers. Plus: a good sense of people.
Personal attitude is the inner foundation of values, beliefs and the view of the world – it shapes how one thinks, feels, acts and interacts with others.
A good leader works on an equal footing, is open to feedback, promotes personal responsibility, and thinks in terms of potential rather than weaknesses. Clear, courageous, and humane.
If someone doesn't want change, can't open up, or actually needs therapeutic help, even if the coach wants more than the client, it's not coaching.
Coaching can't solve deep psychological problems, relieve responsibility, or offer quick, miracle cures. It requires openness, time, and a genuine desire for development.
You are not allowed to call yourself a "psychotherapist" or "alternative practitioner for psychotherapy" unless you have the appropriate license. Even protected professional titles like "psychologist" are taboo without a degree.
A good coach listens, asks intelligent questions, and encourages you to think – not depend. You feel safe, understood, and challenged at the same time. Plus: clear Ethik, training and attitude.
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